Twat a Money Shot

Found this story via Fark.

The uninteresting part of the story: Idiots rob bank. Police catch up with the idiots. Police recover the cash.

Now, the interesting part.  The robbers had the cash stashed in various locations around the house.  One of the locations was the vagina of one of the suspects.  She had $1690 crammed in there.  The story doesn’t say what denominations that involved, but by my figuring, it was at least 19 bills – 16 x $100, 1 x $50, 2 x $20.  I’ve got 18 bills in my wallet, if I count the two 20 Euro notes, so I rolled them up.  They ended up being about the size of a tampon.  However, tampons don’t usually have a lot of exposed paper edges.  Not being in possession of a vagina myself, I can’t be totally sure, but paper cuts in there don’t sound pleasant.  We’ll have to get Alyssa to weigh in on that.  Let’s hope she (the robber) put it in a condom or a baggie before she put the cash in there.

If the robbers didn’t get anything bigger than a $20 bill, the wad of cash she had in there starts getting huge. 84 x $20, 1 x $10 – 85 bills for $1690.  That sounds uncomfortable.  One of the comments on the story says they heard it was $1 bills, but that just sound ridiculous.  I’d say impossible, but I’ve seen crazier things on the internet.

The (bad) jokes on this one almost write themselves:

  • That’s a lot of clams.
  • 1690 bones
  • It’s a vagina, not a safe deposit box.

If you get some cash that smells funny, now you know why.  Now excuse me, after handling that cash, I want to go wash my hands.

One Response to “Twat a Money Shot”

  1. Alyssa says:

    Wow… there are just… so many places I could go with this. Tampons, uhm, do their job without injury if you follow the instructions. And as for paper cuts up there… I wouldn’t know.

    Do remember that the vjayjay can deliver babies from time to time and that does a number on girl parts, though a baby’s fiber count is less than that of dolla dolla bills, ya’ll.